Posts Tagged ‘Humor’
Why Oatmeal Cookies Are Better Than Functional Specifications
Written by Vlad on September 30, 2008 – 3:36 pm -В связи с тем, что в проклятой Америкосии так и не приняли самый духовный язык в мире в качестве государственного, приходится работать на бездуховном английском. Юмор, понятное дело, выходит на нем же, потому что удобнее думать и разговаривать с окружающими проще на одном и том же языке.
Поэтому пока - вот так…
| Why Oatmeal Cookies Are Better Than Functional Specifications | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1 | It takes about 3 minutes to have a good cookie | It takes about 3 weeks to have a good functional specifications |
| 2 | Having a cookie makes you feel good, full or both | Having a functional specifications makes you feel tired, bored or both |
| 3 | It takes less then a day to process a cookie | It takes almost a month to process functional specifications |
| 4 | You can process a cookie on your own | It takes a lot of people to process a functional specifications |
| 5 | You can always be sure of the result | You can never be sure of the result |
| 6 | Your boss doesn’t have to worry about your cookies | Your boss always worries about your functional specifications |
| 7 | All cookies are alike | Functional specifications are never the same, so you have to write anew each time you need one |
| 8 | The order of cookies in the box doesn’t matter | Your boss goes crazy if the order of sections in functional specifications is messed up |
| 9 | You can forget to have a cookie and no one would notice | If you forget about functional specifications you’ll get bombarded with reminders and questions |
| 10 | You can always change the kind of cookies you are having | You can never change the kind of functional specifications you are having |
| 11 | There’s never a problem to start a new cookie if you didn’t finish a previous cookie | There’s always a concern if you start a new functional specification before finishing the previous one |
| 12 | No one will notice if a cookie is missing | If a functional specification is missing it is considered almost a national disaster |
| 13 | If dropped, one can simply take another cookie | If dropped, the functional specification have to be picked up and cleaned, but never discarded |
| 14 | Everybody likes cookies | No one likes functional specifications |
P.S. Сам придумал, поэтому при перепечатке ссылко обязательно.
Tags: cookies, functional specifications, Humor
Posted in Humor, работа | 2 Comments »
Caffeine Free Diet Coke
Written by Vlad on September 5, 2008 – 11:33 am -
Вообще-то я предпочитаю Pepsi. А в последнее время вообще слез с газированных напитков (минеральная вода не в счет). Но тут - просто не смог пройти мимо. Только вдуматься - Caffeine Free Diet Coke:
Без калорий. Без кофеина. Чистое удовольствие от принятия чистого яда.
No calories. No caffeine. Pure pleasure of consuming pure poison.
Без кофеина. Без калорий. Смерть еще никогда не была такой чистой.
No caffeine. No calories. Death has never been so pure.
Без кофеина. Без калорий. Без смысла к существованию.
No caffeine. No calories. No sense of living.
Без калорий. Без кофеина. Чистый канцероген.
No Calories. No Caffeine. Pure Cancerogen.
Без кофеина. Без калорий. Без остановок до самой смерти.
No caffeine. No calories. No stops before death.
От калорий толстеют. От кофеина просыпаются. Эта кола поможет вам умереть худым и во сне.
Calories make you fat. Caffeine makes you awake. This coke will help you die slim in your sleep.
Tags: Humor, жизненное, юмор
Posted in Humor | No Comments »
Not Work-Safe
Written by Vlad on July 31, 2008 – 1:33 pm -NOT SAFE FOR WORK
Tags: Humor, nsfw
Posted in Humor | No Comments »
Корпоратив
Written by Vlad on July 10, 2008 – 9:20 am -“…you will be given 5 minutes notice of the impending restart of your machine…”
РыдалЪ
Tags: corporate, Humor
Posted in General News | No Comments »
Matrimonial
Written by Vlad on June 6, 2008 – 12:40 am -… to annoy each other in sickness or health till death do you part.
Tags: Humor, marriage, matrimonial
Posted in Humor | Comments Off